Welcome to the new site!

Grew up in that church, the leadership there were all child abusing monsters, and the ones that saw looked the other way. MD wife of PD used to beat my sister for being to slow to scramble up on to a couch that was taller than she was, and her daughter was so abusive as our babysitter i quite literally tried to stab her when I was 8. Another disgusting ball of lard of a man named SS (funny coincidence) would physically beat his son JS black and blue. Not exaggerating. Kid carries a double barrel sawn off everywhere he goes now. I get where he’s coming from because it was an abusive situation, you make damn sure nobody can ever hurt you again. There was a man there at one fellowship tall older white Male named Walter, Former MC drill sergeant. Real deep voice but real quiet. Invited 8 year old me to his house for some blueberries. It took 16 years of acting out to finally understand that blueberries don’t have pits. Genuinely considered hunting this skeezbag down and taking vengeance but hell does have pits and alot of them. I used to lie awake at night and cry and I didn’t know why. My mother accused my father of being a pedophile, their marriage fell apart. I remember being sick for 2 weeks once, so bad that I couldn’t move my head without intense pain. Mom told me I had West Nile Virus. I read books like perks of being a wallflower. Hated that book because the ending was so obvious it wasn’t even a shock. Never put two and two together till recently. I finally understand why I have been so terrified of the idea of sex, I’m 24 now and I’ve never been able to develop a loving relationship with anyone. I sought God Heavily a few years ago, really started reading my Bible. Turns out most of it is fairly tales. Moses was actually 4 different people. Noah’s flood, physically impossible, disproved by Numerous studies. There are a few Roman texts outside of the Bible that talk about a Jesus Christ…. the worst part tho is how damn obvious all the lies really are. I always thought of my parents as smart people but they cling to this faith like children do a security blanket. I mean in Exodus the priest hood finally convinces the people that there God is real, and the first edict from God? Build my priests a sort of mobile palace with all the finest of your finery. And god made man in HIS image. Riiiiiiight. Not to mention a true benevolent God would never do half the horrifying shit yahweh did in the Bible. Also, to create an earth, diverse and beautiful, with all sorts of races of people, then pick one race and tell them they are superior? So much so that they have every right to go about genociding everybody else? Also I was told that with God anything is possible. I have found that without him, nothing is impossible. Life is Complex Chemistry in Motion. Science has yet to discover the true nature of consciousness, stuart Hameroff does an amazing job explaining his Model of Orchestrated Objective Reduction, trying to explain that conciousness is contained inside microtubules, a sort of numeral network present in all things, that’s how a single cell paramecium hunts, eats, reproduces, and flees predators with out a brain. We are all made of Stardust, all the chemicals on the periodic table are formed in the heart of supernovae, the death of a star. Carbon alone can make more complex combinations than all the others combined. Amino acids are found on asteroids, and there is a type of clay that when exposed to, the amino acids click right up into strands of RNA. There are organisms called geolyths that can exist for centuries, deep inside rocks. If a larger enough rock, like the one that formed our moon when it collided with earth, could contain these organisms until conditions became livable again… well DNA has a 99.9% perfect replication rate, tthat .1% causes a mutation in our Gene. A gene is literally three amino acids. One amino acid could mess up an entire strand of DNA by switching the reading frame to the right. This is called a mutation. Usually these mutations are harmful, causing lifespan to shorten like sickle cell anemia, where the red blood cells are sickle shaped instead of round, so less oxygen can be carried, and they can cause blood clots to. But it’s your environment that determines what mutations are beneficial. Sickle cell anemia is incredibly resistant to the malaria virus. So if you mutated that in the plains of Africa your lifespan would increase, giving you time to pass that gene into the next generation. This is what evolution is, and it is very real and happening all around us constantly. If a population of an animal species gets separated into different environments, they will eventually grow more and more distinct from each other until they are no longer interfertile, i.e. Darwin’s finches. That’s also why you can crossbreed horses and donkeys to make mules, because along time ago they were the same population of a species that looked like mules do. Some mules are actually still fertile and have even given live birth. On the microscopic level we are all made of particles forming chemical bonds with each other. If the bonds of the chemicals comprising a human ear where broken by a sword going through them, and you were an alien with this understanding and the technology to act on those bonds, it would be easy to reattach that ear like new. And therein lies the greatest flaw of religion, the belief in a cosmic overlord, is that any sufficiently advanced alien civilization would be indistinguishable from God. Our radio communications have been traveling in space for decades now, but as far as they have gone it is literally (no not exaggerating for dramatic effect I mean LITERALLY) a drop in the ocean compared to the size of our galaxy. Which again is a lonely drop in an ever expanding universe that we are still struggling to understand to this day. And the closer we look at our reality the stranger and more complex it becomes. That’s sort of a constant in nature, too. Life on earth has never been as complex as it is today and will only continue to increase in complexity, even if we do destroy our planet and cause our own extinction. This planet has been destroyed many times, check the fossil record, life will come back bigger and better than ever before.

To all the Christians thinking that I need saving: the universe is beautiful, massive and displays incredible symmetry In many instances. Carbon atoms seem almost designed to create concious life. Tell me there is no God and I will laugh in your face. Tell me you know his name, and I will laugh even harder.

To Kevin: you may not want to post this but I hope at least you read it. I never told anyone about the sexual abuse from that man because I had no comprehension of how or why it happened at the time but I knew something was wrong, and I had to get it off my chest. If you don’t like my message here at least take it as a lesson to teach to others of your faith, when satan moves and you watch and say nothing. I will never worship anything ever again, the ever elusive god has to answer for that, not you.

To Walter: I feel sorry for you really. My conscience finally relents. I cant imagine what yours must feel like. I think that is punishment enough.