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Marriage, sex, and submission

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20 March

Marriage, sex, and submission

By Kevin|2019-04-11T17:17:53-06:00March 20th, 2019|Uncategorized|18 Comments

That title should get your attention. :-) My wife and I have been enormously blessed in our marriage. It's not a perfect marriage—no marriage is, because it's made up of two imperfect people. Things cannot be greater than the sum of their parts. Or can they? We have had highs and lows in our 29 years. But just as the highs get higher, so do the lows—they get higher as well. Higher highs and higher lows is good in investing, but it's a spiritual experience in marriage. I wouldn't trade it for the world. I'm not saying you have to be a Christian to have a good marriage. I'd like to say you did, because I would love for all of you to be believers [...]

12 August

Rules for marital sex

By Kevin|2019-09-26T10:46:06-06:00August 12th, 2013|Uncategorized|118 Comments

This is a subject I intend to handle with as much tact as possible, but I make no apology for treating the subject boldly as well as 100% scripturally. It is important to speak the truth on this, because the oppressive reach of church teaching extends even into the sacred realm of the marriage bed, which Paul declares to be "undefiled." The church leaves no sacred cows, so unfortunately, neither can we. I believe sex within marriage to be a gift of God, and something to be enjoyed without guilt or shame. The teachings of the church on sex seem to start with the premise that it is dirty and shameful; hence rules such as abstaining on Saturday night. In one instance, a woman was [...]

29 July

Changing doctrines

By Kevin|2019-04-30T09:53:03-06:00July 29th, 2013|Uncategorized|104 Comments

One of the staple teachings I had growing up in the Stanton Church of Christ was the idea that truth never changes. Therefore, if any church had ever changed their doctrines, you could be assured it was not the True Church, because 1 Tim 3:15 says the True Church is the pillar and the ground of the unchanging truth. The only problem is that the church has most definitely changed its doctrines over the years. That's the purpose of the May Meetings, in fact...to discuss doctrine and reach conclusions for the sake of "unity." Invariably, each May Meeting creates a flurry of excitement around all the "new understandings" of scripture "brought back" from the meeting. These "church councils," which are nothing more than the equivalent [...]

"This needed to be said Kevin, thank you. I believe you are getting to heart of the problem in the church. Instead of a Christian being allowed to exercise their own conscience, the conscience of a few people living in South Carolina and California is forced upon the entire brotherhood." ~Anonymous

"Great blog, Kevin. I'm originally from Stanton (I remember you being a young boy there). I Spent almost twenty years in the church seeing many of the things you speak about but keeping them in the back of my mind, and doubting my own feelings that something wasn't right.

"This constant gossiping was so confusing because it was OK for teachers to talk about people, but no one else to even question actions of a teacher. Being outside of that influence and away from the constant intimidation, it is so much more clear. There was no love or understanding. I'm sure most, except for the leaders, know something is wrong if they would just be honest with themselves. I regret so much putting my children through this more than I regret putting myself through it.

"I'm just glad I left. No need for being bitter toward anyone because it was my choice to be there and stay there. Keep up the good work." ~Loraine Forshee

I have read every word of this blog… I spent many hours/days reading… Feeling so sick inside… I felt so grateful to find this blog." ~Anonymous

"I left the group because I realized that what the group taught and what God teaches were often-not always-vastly different. I had to make a choice; stay out of fear, obligation, because of relationships, or leave so I could continue to follow Christ. I left. You know, one thing I heard A LOT while in the group is that “fallen away ones” are always longing to come back into the group.” At the time I believed it, but I just haven’t found it to be true! If it were, there would be plenty of people flocking back, and it isn’t happening. I have been in contact with quite a few who have left, and not one of us has thoughts about going back. Ever." ~Debby Stevens

"What’s ironic is that we point these things out to them only for them to ignore, dismiss and scoff at the blog both publicly in talks or sermons, and among themselves in secret. For you leaders and members of the SCOC who still read this blog, it’s one thing to dismiss the dissenters, but when you have people in your own ranks parroting the SAME EXACT PROBLEMS we talk about here (some of whom don’t even read the blog yet they see the same things we do), it may be time to consider your ways instead of having “unity” (conformity) meetings trying to ignore it." ~Advocate for Peace

"I too am a current member in 'good standing' in the church. I read the blog and I know of two other current members who also read it. I am sure you're wondering why in the world I would still be attending after reading all of this. Honestly, I am weak and just don't have the courage to leave because of family members who are still involved. Because of the threat of withdrawal for murmuring it's impossible to ask others what they think of the blog posts and videos. I am sure I will leave someday, I'm just not quite ready." ~Anonymous

"I'm currently a member in "good standing" in the church. I read the blog, even though its frowned upon. I can't begin to tell you how closely the comments and personal testimonies align and match what's happening in the church. You read something here, and it opens your eyes to that behavior now. so that when you see it happening, you instantly think about who it happened to here on this blog, and you know the damage it causing." ~Anonymous

"I’m not giving up on God like they believe I’m lost now. I’m so glad I found this blog. It helped open my eyes to what I was a part of for TOO long." ~Not going back

“I have tried the pharisaic plan, and the monastic. I was once so straight, that, like the Indian’s tree, I leaned a little the other way. And however much I may be slandered now as seeking “popularity” or a popular course, I have to rejoice that to my own satisfaction, as well as to others, I proved that truth, and not popularity, was my object; for I was once so strict a Separatist that I would neither pray nor sing praises with any one who was not as perfect as I supposed myself. In this most unpopular course I persisted until I discovered the mistake, and saw that on the principle embraced in my conduct, there never could be a congregation or church upon the earth.” Alexander Campbell

“If you can’t counter it in your heart, you will be affected. A lot of people say, ‘Gary you’re just trying to censor people from their God-given right to look at whatever it is that they’re going to look at.’ Go ahead and look at it. But I can only say to you, be admonished, and be well-versed. If you’re not having the ability to counter whatever it is that comes your way. Or all of a sudden someone comes and says something, and it hooks you in, you’re lured in with hook, line, and sinker, you have no one to thank but yourself. Our admonition is not to forbid anyone from doing anything, unless it’s a sin.” Gary Preman

Truth Defender on Why I care about politics and cultureHow can a woman learn the role God designed for her in the church and marriage in a church started by Merie, who rebelled against God’s order that women stay silent in the churches? Short answer. They…
Non institutional One cupper on Why I care about politics and cultureAnd he is still apart of the church of Christ but the one he started right?
Anonymous on Why I care about politics and cultureHe is living in Texas and is worshipping in a home with other believers. My advice would be to contact him through his instagram page if you would like more information.
Non institutional One cupper on Why I care about politics and cultureWhere is Joe worshiping
Anonymous on Why I care about politics and cultureFrom my understanding, Joe didn’t start his own sect. About a year after his unscriptural withdrawal he left the Stanton sect which he had been a part of since birth, and he and his family attended a…
Non institutional One cupper on Why I care about politics and cultureDose anyone know besides Joe gautreau if there has been anyone who broke away from stanton and stared teir own sect of churches of christ
Truth Defender on Why I care about politics and cultureHumility, Pride, Love, and Truth. Of these four words, which do you hear most in Stanton? I'd say it's a close contest between love and pride, though in the past, pride won by a lot. Now, pride appear…
Truth Defender on Why I care about politics and cultureThe concept is scriptural, and in accordance with nature's law, IMHO. Good overview by anonymous. Anytime a member of any organization publicly violates the organizations standards, rather than bring…
Anonymous on Why I care about politics and cultureThe reason they do public confessions is to clear themslves of public sins. They believe that a member can sin collectively against every member in their congregation by committing a sin in public. (A…
Luke clips on Why I care about politics and cultureWhy dose stanton do public confessions
Truth Defender on My Story, by Matthew EzellIt seems reasonable, when one zooms out and looks at what was happening in America at the time, a great book on it is “Sexual Sabotage” by Judith Reisman. Beginning with Kinseys degenerate “Sex Report…
Truth Defender on Why I care about politics and cultureInteresting, thank you for posting. Wonder if you were in Stanton prior to 1984, when my family left. The tradition, unscriptural, of female teachers has been devastating. Kevin’s mother was very astu…
Liz Montalvo on My Story, by Matthew EzellIn hindsight, once I left Stanton, I began to realize that the obsession by some Stanton leaders with members' sex lives illustrated their own sexual depravity. God is all knowing and He alone will ju…
Liz Montalvo on My Story, by Matthew EzellIt is heartbreaking that Matt was withdrawn from and I can't help but see the similiarities between what occurred with his father-in-law and mother-in-law. Jill was the sweetest soul and a dear friend…
Liz Montalvo on Here’s Joe Gautreau’s letter of withdrawal…where do I start?Agreed. I placed membership at a Houston Church of Christ in the 1980s and in no way was I turned away or my past checked because I had been a member at Stanton. It was quite the opposite.
Liz Montalvo on Gossip, evil surmising, and slanderAmen Loraine.
Liz Montalvo on Why I care about politics and cultureI find it interesting that Kevin has “forbidden” the use of names but he mentioned Merie & another woman in his opening post & conveniently left out his mother who did quite a bit of harm. I k…
Anonymous on Why I care about politics and cultureYes, there is a reason Bible class is after worship and not before. Worship is the most important activity of not just Sunday, but the entire week, as well as the only time the church is commanded to…
Luke clips on Why I care about politics and cultureIs there a reason stanton dose not have Bible classes before worship
Anonymous on Why I care about politics and cultureTo answer your question about non-class... Stanton conducts children's classes on Sunday morning and/or evening after worship while the adults have their class, so no, they are not 'non class'.