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My (unanswered) email to Gary on August 10, 2004
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My (unanswered) email to Gary on August 10, 2004

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2 November

My (unanswered) email to Gary on August 10, 2004

By Kevin|2022-11-02T15:38:03-06:00November 2nd, 2022|Uncategorized|8 Comments

I have hoped, prayed, and acted in good faith for many, many years in trying to have a conversation with Stanton leadership. When I heard Paula in her own voice incorrectly tell the world that I failed to show up to meet her kids for an unfriendly (her words) conversation about the church, I was reminded that I had seen a copy of my email to Gary somewhere from "probably a couple decades ago." I was close. As it turned out, I sent it on August 10, 2004, over 18 years ago as of today. I ran across the copy, and will share it below. For the record, I still have no ill will toward Gary, Paula, or any other Stanton leader. The offer still [...]

"This needed to be said Kevin, thank you. I believe you are getting to heart of the problem in the church. Instead of a Christian being allowed to exercise their own conscience, the conscience of a few people living in South Carolina and California is forced upon the entire brotherhood." ~Anonymous

"Great blog, Kevin. I'm originally from Stanton (I remember you being a young boy there). I Spent almost twenty years in the church seeing many of the things you speak about but keeping them in the back of my mind, and doubting my own feelings that something wasn't right.

"This constant gossiping was so confusing because it was OK for teachers to talk about people, but no one else to even question actions of a teacher. Being outside of that influence and away from the constant intimidation, it is so much more clear. There was no love or understanding. I'm sure most, except for the leaders, know something is wrong if they would just be honest with themselves. I regret so much putting my children through this more than I regret putting myself through it.

"I'm just glad I left. No need for being bitter toward anyone because it was my choice to be there and stay there. Keep up the good work." ~Loraine Forshee

I have read every word of this blog… I spent many hours/days reading… Feeling so sick inside… I felt so grateful to find this blog." ~Anonymous

"I left the group because I realized that what the group taught and what God teaches were often-not always-vastly different. I had to make a choice; stay out of fear, obligation, because of relationships, or leave so I could continue to follow Christ. I left. You know, one thing I heard A LOT while in the group is that “fallen away ones” are always longing to come back into the group.” At the time I believed it, but I just haven’t found it to be true! If it were, there would be plenty of people flocking back, and it isn’t happening. I have been in contact with quite a few who have left, and not one of us has thoughts about going back. Ever." ~Debby Stevens

"What’s ironic is that we point these things out to them only for them to ignore, dismiss and scoff at the blog both publicly in talks or sermons, and among themselves in secret. For you leaders and members of the SCOC who still read this blog, it’s one thing to dismiss the dissenters, but when you have people in your own ranks parroting the SAME EXACT PROBLEMS we talk about here (some of whom don’t even read the blog yet they see the same things we do), it may be time to consider your ways instead of having “unity” (conformity) meetings trying to ignore it." ~Advocate for Peace

"I too am a current member in 'good standing' in the church. I read the blog and I know of two other current members who also read it. I am sure you're wondering why in the world I would still be attending after reading all of this. Honestly, I am weak and just don't have the courage to leave because of family members who are still involved. Because of the threat of withdrawal for murmuring it's impossible to ask others what they think of the blog posts and videos. I am sure I will leave someday, I'm just not quite ready." ~Anonymous

"I'm currently a member in "good standing" in the church. I read the blog, even though its frowned upon. I can't begin to tell you how closely the comments and personal testimonies align and match what's happening in the church. You read something here, and it opens your eyes to that behavior now. so that when you see it happening, you instantly think about who it happened to here on this blog, and you know the damage it causing." ~Anonymous

"I’m not giving up on God like they believe I’m lost now. I’m so glad I found this blog. It helped open my eyes to what I was a part of for TOO long." ~Not going back

“I blush for my fellows who hold up the Bible as the bond of union, yet make their opinions of it a test of fellowship; who plead for union of all Christians, yet refuse to fellowship with such as dissent from their notions. Vain men! Their zeal is not according to knowledge, nor is their spirit that of Christ. Such antisectarian-sectarians are doing more mischief to the cause and advancement of truth, the unity of Christians, and the salvation of the world, than all the skeptics in the world. In fact, they create skeptics.” Barton Stone

"Someone told me here just recently that, Gary, do you realize what’s happening, under cover? People are coming out and expressing what it is that they feel, their disdain and contempt for what you believe. I’ve got to know how to respond. And I know how I respond. That’s the basis of this lesson. I refuse. I refuse, to the uttermost of my being to dignify the absurdity of the questions and the challenges in which it is that people will present. What I mean by that is that I will not honor, they are not worthy of my consideration. … [M]y whole estimation was to not give it a nickel’s worth of consideration. But I want to give you what it is how I deal with things like this. How I respond. Because I don’t. I don’t." Gary Preman

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